Conversation Planner · for managers
How to talk to an employee who was passed over for promotion
Read the approach below, or skip ahead and get a plan written for your own situation.
Plan my conversation — free ↓Why the usual approach fails
Managers soften this until it's unclear whether the person got the job, or bury it in praise. Both feel insulting later. Say it in the first sentence, give the real reason, then stop talking and let them react before you move to what's next.
How to open
"I want to tell you directly: you didn't get the lead role. I know that's disappointing and I don't want to rush past it. When you're ready, I'd like to tell you exactly why and what I think gets you there."
Ask before you tell
- "What's your reaction?"
- "What do you want to know about how the decision was made?"
- "What would you want to work on, if we built a plan toward the next opening?"
What to agree before you leave the room
The one or two specific gaps, in plain language, and a concrete opportunity in the next quarter to close one of them.
Make it yours — free
Edit the details below to match your situation and get a full five-step COACH plan by email.
Other conversations
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- How to talk to a former peer you now manage →
- How to talk to a remote employee who is unresponsive →
Built on the COACH method by Jon Kludt, Business Coach · Certified EOS Implementer® · thecoachconversation.com