Stay Interview Questions: What to Ask Before Your Best People Leave

Most companies ask people why they’re leaving in an exit interview. By then the answer can’t change anything, and the person has every reason to keep it vague and polite.

A stay interview flips that. You ask the same questions while the person still works for you and you can still do something about the answer. It’s one of the cheapest retention tools a manager has, and most managers never use it, usually because they don’t know what to ask or are afraid of what they’ll hear.

This guide gives you the questions, a way to open that doesn’t feel like a performance review, and, most important, what to do afterwards.

Who to have a stay interview with first

Start with the people you’d least like to lose. They tend to get the least of your attention because nothing about their work demands it, and they have the most options if they decide to go.

Good first candidates:

• someone whose work the team couldn’t easily replace;
• someone who has gone quieter than usual, or stopped volunteering for things;
• someone who has been in the same role for a long time without a clear next step.

How to open

The opening decides whether you get honest answers or polite ones. Start with one specific thing they do well (not general praise), say why you’re asking, and make clear nothing is wrong.

“The way you got the Calloway launch back on track last month is exactly why I want this conversation. Nothing’s wrong. I’d just like to understand what makes this job worth staying for, and what might not be, while there’s still time to act on it.”

Swap in your own example. If you can’t think of a specific one, that’s worth noticing before the conversation, not during it.

Then stop talking. Silence after an opening like that is normal; let them fill it.

The stay interview questions

You don’t need all of these. Pick four or five, ask them in your own words, and follow the answers rather than the list.

What keeps them

1. “What part of your week gives you the most energy?”
2. “What do you look forward to on a good week?”
3. “If you were describing this job to a friend, what would you brag about?”

What could push them out

4. “What’s the most frustrating part of your week?”
5. “If a recruiter called tomorrow, what would make you take the call?”
6. “Has anything made you think about leaving in the last few months?”

Where they want to go

7. “What would you like to be known for here in two years?”
8. “What’s a skill you’d like to build that this role isn’t giving you?”
9. “Is there a part of the business you’re curious about?”

How you can help

10. “What’s one thing I do that makes your job harder?”
11. “What would you change about how we work, if it were up to you?”
12. “What’s one thing I could do in the next month that would make a real difference to you?”

Question 10 is the hardest to ask and usually the most useful. If you ask it, thank them for the answer, even if it stings. Arguing with it guarantees you won’t hear the truth again.

What not to do

• Don’t make promises in the room. “I’ll look into it” and a date beats “I’ll get you that promotion” every time. A broken promise does more damage than no conversation at all.
• Don’t defend. You’re there to learn, not to explain why things are the way they are.
• Don’t fold it into a performance review. A stay interview is about them, not their ratings. Mixing the two makes people guarded.
• Don’t do it once and forget it. One conversation a year is a survey. Coming back to it is what makes people believe you meant it.

What to do with the answers

A stay interview only works if something happens afterwards. Before the conversation ends, ask them to name the one thing that matters most, then have them say what it would look like, in their own words:

“Of everything we talked about, what’s the one change that would make the biggest difference for you?”

“More say in which projects I take on.”

“What would that look like in practice?”

“Being asked before I’m assigned to something, and choosing one project a quarter myself.”

That last answer is the agreement: specific, in their words, and something you can check. Then put a date on it together: “Let’s sit down on the 15th, and I’ll tell you what I’ve been able to change.”

Then do three things:

1. Write down what you heard, in their words, the same day.
2. Change something before the follow-up date, even if it’s small. It shows that saying it out loud worked.
3. Keep the follow-up, including when the answer is “I couldn’t change that, and here’s why.” People can live with a no. They leave over silence.

Turn it into a plan for one person

If there’s someone on your team you’re worried about losing, the free Conversation Planner will prep the conversation for your situation: the opening line, the questions to ask, and what to agree before you leave the room. The top performer you might lose guide is a good place to start.

If you want the full system — word-for-word scripts, question banks for every step, and the COACH Certified™ Manager credential — the COACH Kit is a one-time $99.

Get the COACH Kit →

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